Remember Who You Are
Like many, I struggle to see myself as others do. I am an enneagram 8, my birthday is April 20th, which puts me on the cusp of Aries/Taurus (probably more of a Taurus), and I’m the middle child.
I do know that, at times, I am demanding, and there is not an introverted bone in my body. I often struggle not to say exactly how I feel, and I have learned through the years that this combination is generally not well-received. I care deeply for others, am as loyal as they come, and always root for the underdog.
When I received my cancer diagnosis, I felt the floor slip out from under me. There was so much darkness. The future I had seen for myself and my family had been suddenly stripped away. I was unsure of the future, myself, and how I would keep going.
My friends came to the rescue.
I am in awe of the women God has placed in my life. Their friendships are not by accident, coincidence, or chance.
Each one of these ladies was by my bedside. They held me, my husband, and my children, as we started to build our new normal.
They have and continue to surround me with their faithfulness; they stand in the gap when I am scared and continue to lift us in prayer, petitioning God for his complete healing.
When I started creating this blog, I asked my friends to describe me, and I did not expect their responses to be so inspiring. Their words reminded me of who I was when I struggled to find myself; they reminded me of the fighter that I am.
My sister, Mande (aka Madreane)
She is 15 months older than me, and we are as different as night and day. She filled a space like no other. She has done everything right; her love, support, and Godly awareness are like no other.
No one will ever know you like your sister.
“I know Karly as a sister and a friend. If you have a sister, you have a friend for life. Growing up with Karly created a solid, virtually impenetrable foundation — perfect for fostering a forever friendship. Karly is compassionate and kind. When she gets an idea in her head, you better believe she will bring it to fruition! She is a planner! She loves to learn, she wants to know all the things, and she won’t stop until she does, know all the things.
Karly was born to do many things, but I am confident that her favorite thing, the thing she is best at, the thing she lives for, the thing that makes her heart happy, and the thing that brings her joy is being a Mother!”
The friend, mentor, and life coach, Kathy Walter.
I really wished everyone could have a Kathy. She took me under her wing when I was a lost 20-something, led through example, and helped me discover my strength.
“You are a survivor, and that stretches before and beyond cancer. You always manage to overcome and achieve regardless of what you are working with.
When you set your mind to something, it is done. You are not afraid to push back and will own it when you are wrong (this can take a minute sometimes), wanting to learn and grow from the experience. Nothing is more important to you than God, and your family.
You have always managed to push yourself up regardless of the climb.
You are funny, and I describe your humor as dry and self-absorbed, with some sarcasm thrown in. (We can’t forget your title of “a trophy wife.”)
I have watched you grow emotionally more in the last five years as you have navigated a demanding job, school, family, and friendships.”
The lifelong best friend, Tami.
We met when we were both 13 and have never looked back. She introduced me to Josh and stood beside me when I married him. She stood with me as we buried my dad, and she held every one of my babies right after they were born.
This is what ride-or-die is all about.
“I would describe you as a woman of faith, one of the things I’ve always admired about you that I sometimes lack. You definitely have a servant’s heart, which shows in your professional and personal life.
You love big and fierce and have a heart the size of Texas. it’s the only way you know; it’s all or nothing with you. When you set your mind on something, you will achieve it and look for ways to do it better.
You overcome obstacles or roadblocks as an invitation to tell the world. ‘Watch me do this!’
And, you have the best hair ever.”
My Mom Gang: Cindy & Becky.
These are the women that are always in my corner. We are all raising kids around the same age, live close, and truly do life together.
“She loves Big and does not care for the word “NO.”
If you looked up loyal and dependable in the dictionary, you would most likely see a full-color headshot of Karly with no filters smiling back at you. ”
“I can describe Karly as fierce. Her love is intense, and expresses that love with the one she loves the most. Karly makes no excuses for the woman she has become since having Ryan Kate; she is raising RK to be fierce, bold, courageous, and have self-confidence that only comes from above. ”
If you are struggling to find yourself. If you have just received a diagnosis or life-changing news, I would encourage you to fall back on your support community.
Ask them to remind you of who you are, to remind you of your immense strength. It can be easy to forget your strength sometimes, so let your friends remind you how capable you are.
Need some help getting started?
Here is an example of how I asked my friends to help describe me.
I found a wonderful blog about EGFR cancer, and one of the posts suggested a little homework assignment: "How would your friends describe you?"
Well, what better way to answer that than ask the people that know me best? I think this will help me say more than just, the pretty one, the one with the good parties, [insert self-praise here.]
Whatever you think of just shoot my way; definitely doesn't have to be a lot. I love you and appreciate anything you have to share!
