Choosing The Happy Place
Happy New Year, friends. Reader warning: The end of this update will include an insufferable number of Disney World photos. We will get to that later, but you've been warned.
I recently began watching The Chosen; I know I am late to the game on this one. Season five will begin this April, so there is still time for you to get caught up. The Chosen does an incredible job of retelling the story of Jesus and his disciples. I have cried more times while watching this series than I can count. It creates such a strong reminder of who God is.
Several episodes include recorded accounts of Jesus's life, primarily according to Matthew, who I believe has the longest recorded gospel. According to God's word, Jesus's earthly ministry included healing the multitudes. The Chosen captures these recorded accounts beautifully. What I find incredibly moving is how each individual responds following this miraculous healing. They weep, fall into Jesus's arms, or fall to his feet. How incredible it must feel to be held by God.
This past December, I had a routine CT of my chest. The hilar lymph nodes are a group of lymph nodes located in the right lung, near the bronchus and the main artery. My lymph nodes appeared a little suspicious on the CT, so a PET scan was ordered to evaluate these better. I had the PET scan this past Monday and met with my oncologist, Dr. Gerber, on Thursday.
Dr. Gerber stated that the results "could have been better, could have been worse." The PET scan confirmed some definite changes to the hilar lymph nodes. I asked Dr. Gerebr, on a scale of 0-10, zero being no worries and a ten being "make final arrangements," how he felt about these results. In true Dr. Gerber fashion, he said, "Let me rephrase that, Karly. On a scale of how concerned I am that this is cancer, I'd say a 10. On the same scale, if I think you have widespread disease, I'm closer to a 0.”
Thank you, God, no other areas lit up on my body.
Dr. Gerber said, "Let me ask you, Karly, how does this news make you feel?' I said, “If you are asking if I am going to curl up in the fetal position and have a moment, well, it will take a lot more than this.”
We talked about resilience, and he confidently told me that he believes in me and my resilience and thinks it has a lot to do with how well I will continue to do.
I also reminded him that I love science and believe in what it has done and what it will continue to do, but ultimately, my greater belief is in a God who can and will heal every bit of cancer from my body. Dr. Gerber said, "I know, Karly."
Thank you, God, for providing a doctor who sees me and knows You.
What's Next
We have moved up my MRI brain to this Friday at 7 pm. There is not a pressing concern that there is progression to my brain, but the PET scan does not image the brain well. I will then meet with my pulmonologist and have a bronchoscopy. The bronchoscopy will serve two purposes: to confirm that it is cancer in the lymph nodes and to send a new tissue sample off for molecular testing. I have not had any additional molecular testing since my first bronchoscopy in June of 2022; this allows us to check for new mutations. If there is cancer in my lymph nodes, I will meet with my radiation oncologist, who has already reviewed my scans and is preparing a radiation plan.
Back to my discussion about The Chosen and how it must feel to be held by God; it feels incredible, like home, and everything will be okay.
I joked with my sister that I don't think I'm in denial, and I'm really not that medicated. Why am I not curled up on the floor? It's because God holds me. He holds me close, He holds me up, He is my home.
This ends one way or another with me and God. I imagine that I will fall to his feet when I see Him face to face.
I Press On….
because Christ Jesus has made me HIs own.
~ Philippians 3: 12
I have learned a lot these past two and a half years about living with stage IV lung cancer. We will praise Him daily, and when things pop up, we will address them and press on.
I will never stop asking for your prayers. God heal my body. Let there be no signs of cancer in my lymph nodes. God, let everyone see your glory with every breath I take. You are a good, good father.
Before I share pictures from our recent trip to Disney World, I want to express our gratitude to Ed & Cindy Davis. They watched their daughter navigate the life I am living right now. Manda's story is different than mine, and her ultimate healing was not on this side of eternity, but what is the same is a woman who chooses faith over fear, a mother whose heart beats for her children and who would do anything for more time with them. Ed & Cindy have done a beautiful job continuing Manda's legacy. They come alongside moms whose lives have been impacted by cancer; they love them, pray for them, and gift them magical times with their children. It is not easy to get a family of six anywhere. There would have been no way Josh and I could have provided this week at Disney without the help of the Manda Strong Foundation.
I could make an entire post about Disney. It really is the happiest palace on earth. I tell people it's like Chick-fil-A; the answer is always yes, the restrooms are always clean, and you will never see trash on the ground. We have only been twice, but I am ready to go back. Please don't be surprised if I turn up as a Disney planner in the near future. I cry every time I see Cinderella's castle, watch the fireworks, and look at my kid's faces. Josh is slowly getting on board; the boys love it, and their sister thinks she has stepped into Princess World. Our kids travel well, and there isn't a ride they won't ride. We rope drop and shut it down; the Renns know how to go big.
