Two Years
“Cancerversary.” This day could represent something different to each person who has experienced cancer. To me June 10th will be the day my life forever changed. There is my life before June 10th, 2022 and our life after.
Gratitude.
Gratitude to God: He is a promise keeper. Gratitude that I am here. Those first five days were the darkest of my entire life. There were moments when we were unclear if I had days, weeks, or months.
Gratitude for Josh. The whole IYKYK thing is a little annoying for me, but when it comes to Josh, IYKYK. There is no better human in this world; he loves me more than I deserve. His love for Christ, me, and our children is evidence of God’s grand design.
Gratitude for my sister. Mande and I are only 15 months apart. I can tell you that in the last two years, we have become closer than ever. She is truly my best friend, and she’s been here all along.
Gratitude for the EGFR community. People like Lindi who advocate and drive the research that is saving my life. EGFR Resisters, and Young Lung Cancer Initiative for building a safe place for me. Many moments in this new life can only be understood because they are in it with me.
I also use this time to reflect on how God continually shapes me. One of my greatest realizations is that
He is the same God. He was good then, and He is good now.
To have faith in God, you have to know him. He tells us and shows us exactly who He is and who He is not; it is all found in His word, and this is the Character of God.
Josh and I are part of a small group at our church; it has been an enormous blessing. We are studying the book of Exodus; this past Sunday, we were in chapter 16.
Quick recap: Moses had led the Israelites (Hebrews, Jews} out of captivity in Egypt and He is leading them to the Promised Land (Canaan; present-day Israel). Now, Moses and the Israelites haven’t made it there yet. Remember that it would take 40 years. A few points in this part of Exodus stand out: stay with me; I’m going somewhere.
At this point, Moses and the Israelites had seen and experienced many of God’s miracles. When they feared there was no way, He parted the seas. When they were thirsty, He sweetened the water. When they were hungry, the sky opened, and He rained down naan for them to eat. Even though God showed them He was there, they would soon slip from that assurance, groan, and doubt God’s power.
This is what I mean when I say that God shows you who He is time after time.
Two years ago, he saved my literal life. God had already been preparing me. Like I said on day one, none of this comes from God, and I had a choice:
Either He loves me, or He doesn't. I strongly argue that He does.
My point of fire came on June 10th. This day allowed me to experience God’s faithfulness. God has used this time to strengthen my commitment and deepen my trust and love for Him.
Hear me when I say He is my Savior.
He had me exactly where I needed to be and surrounded me with a team that would know how to treat me.
When we found out if it was EGFR, He parted the seas and made way for treatments. When scans suggested last fall that the cancer had spread to a lymph node in my lung, the biopsy revealed not a single cancer cell. He sweetened the waters. There were no apparent signs of progression when my two-year mark was approaching. When my liver function was steadily climbing, He didn’t just keep them as they were, He didn’t just lower them a little bit, He knocked them down to perfect, He rained naan from the skies.
Like the Israelites, I receive His miracles and allow myself to enter the fear and doubt. I have openly shared how crippling the fear is, Especially when it comes to my children. Even after the most recent miracle of my lab work, I slipped back into fear.
I cried yesterday when we took our luggage with Rush, to be dropped off for Beach camp {yes, Rush is lucky enough to have both of us at camp with him.}
Ryan Kate will go to beach camp in nine years; how I would love to experience this with my daughter. The “statistics” of me being here and going to Beach Camp with her are pretty slim.
How quickly I forget what God has done for me.
He sent His son, Jesus Christ, who paid the price of my sin through His death. God’s grace and love have no limits. When God shows me precisely who He is, and I still fear and doubt, He pulls me closer and whispers, “Karly, my precious child, you are more loved than you will ever know.”
So, on my two-year “cancerversary, “ I invite you to celebrate with me by whispering to God, “Thank you.”
For those of you who have your own cancerversary, love someone who does, or grieves someone who did, I see you. More importantly; God sees you.
